Tricky Treats

I know you are on the edge of your seat wondering what has happened in my time since my ever wonderful lesson in hitting on boys. I haven't utilized that catchy line yet, but on Saturday night I did agree to briefly date a nameless guy dressed as a man child for Halloween. I clearly make excellent choices when I am not sober. As for my get-up, I went as nobody in particular with an auburn wig (because thats what I had. I'm lazy. Whats new?)

After the Halloween fun I woke up on Sunday, looking as if I'd gotten into a fight with the concrete. I clearly lost. I trip and fall like I never learned how to stand up straight ever in life. I have various cuts on my hands and elbows in addition to the numerous bruises in places I'm not quite sure how I got. There is also a vague memory of me nearly falling off the roof, which would not have been as comical as I remember it being.

There are three particular cuts that I think is funny because its like a little reminder of how retarded I am. Its two nicks and gash conveniently arranged to look like a smirking smiley face. As if to say, you're ridiculous.

On a more decent, respectable level-- I have become semi-employed. I work as a freelance copywriter at Kidrobot. I get paid, that's what is important.

Also, I met the people who make Uncooked cards. Oddly enough, they're not crazy. Good cards. Get one and send it to someone you know or don't know.

So, Thats How Its Done

Two nights ago, after attending my cousins' dance performance me, my sister, and her boyfriend went out for a drink, because we're alcoholics and he's polish. We had a few, stole a few, got caught stealing a few, and then left that bar to go eat.

After a blintz and some perogies my sister's polish fellow somehow got to the topic of finding a boyfriend for me. To which I explain how completely inept I am at the whole concept of active pursuit and the topic seemingly dissipated until the following evening while waiting on the corner the same three of us were discussing what we should do for the evening. Thoughts of a comedy club, drinking, eating, drinking AND eating were tossed around-- and in the lull of discussion a tall, hip-hop hipster-ish fellow with an afro as large as a sewer cover walks over and asks for a light. Which I follow with a simple, 'no' and he walks away.

But, as he walks away I get a knock on my shoulder and wise words from the boyfriend saying, "That was your in! You should've said 'yes, want to come upstairs with me?' !"

He seems like a winner to me.

A Story About A Door

Imagine a large fun house room with doors galore. They're everywhere, the place is enrobed in mystery, for I never know quite sure what is going on or what will happen next. Its an Alice in Wonderland sort of place (sadly, minus the drug induced entrance to Wonderland), theres small doors, big doors, old doors, new doors, doors with a cover and others that look like they've been condemned. An almost endless amount, and it all started with that fated first door that got me in there in the first place.

Before entering, I was in complacency. A room that goes nowhere, and does nothing. Its fine and dandy until you see that you've been left behind. Then, appears that first door. That fated first door. It seems so nice and a pleasant change from the room I previously occupied. It was a very straight forward door, and it looked like it led to another room of progress. It was different and I was going somewhere.

Of course, I get all gussied up and make my cheery self through this door only to find that nothing I saw was as expected. The place I had assumed I would be in was an illusion, I had mistakenly missed the gap. It wasn't one door I was to go through, it was two. In complacency, I had been standing directly in front of both rooms creating a foreshortening of the space between the two doors. In essence, whatever the zeal or tunnel vision I had made that room I envisioned seem closer. I had missed it. The second door, which is now shut and then cemented over and wallpapered and there now hangs a small picture of a sail boat. Long forgotten of the door that once was.

So I stand in a room. A purgatory with doors galore.

In this fun house room every so often a new door will open. With its glimpse of hope, a glimpse of change, a tease of progress. Although, the moment a new door is open its closed faster than it takes my nervous system to follow through on the message to lift a foot to walk towards this open avenue.

However, if I had to do it all over again I'd walk through with that same zeal. There is an end, there is an out, but still...

Fucking doors.

Mannequin!

One of the plethora of things my sister likes to make fun of me for is my desire to repeatedly watch movies that are either unheard of or just plain bad -- to the point that to the untrained eye one might believe I was an enormous fan of the film.

Mannequin was one of those nuggets of obscurity that I watched. I hadn't seen it in years, but while channel surfing this past Sunday I paused on one channel because within seconds of the opening scene I knew what it was.

Oh memories, I probably had a crush on Andrew McCarthy, of the Brat Pack fame. His boyish charms won me over as a 10yr old. Because although the movie was released in 1987, when I was 2-- I hadn't seen it until television brought it to my living room to watch every time it was broadcasted. I didn't ever make plans to watch it... I just watched an immense amount of TV. Its just basic math that I was bound to stumble upon it.

Little Miss and Mr Men

http://www.mrmen.com/site/flash/
go to 'your gallery' and at the bottom left is "the workshop"

You can create your own and even print it out and then meticulously color it like you were in pre-school.

What I Learned Today.

1.)High heels and I were not meant to be.
2.)I could never become corporate.
3.)People that cluck and squawk walking down the street wearing feathers do exist.
4.)How to spell squawk.

Housing Adventures

If you don't know, finding housing in New York can be... to say the least, interesting. I spent the last 4 days looking at places and emailing people to no avail. Some in places, I probably shoudn't have been traveling to at night alone. "Up and and Coming" is how you market "Murders and rapes are down! Only 40 this week."

On Tuesday, as I walked back to the subway station from a prospective apartment in an "up and coming" area this lanky street walker, decked out in his jean suit (Jacket. Pants. The works.) walks past and yells, "hey girl." I, of course foolishly turned and looked at him. Damn it. I've made eye contact. So he turns around and starts walking alongside me to continue this misconstrued moment:

"Hey gurl, what you doin' ta-night? Let's hang out."
"I can't."
"Where you from?"
"Here."
"So... we can hang out anotha time?"
"Maybe."
"Gimme yo numba."
"I don't have one."
"You ain't got one?"
"My phone was shut off."

By this point I am walking up the stairs to the subway station, and he then proceeds to try and grab my arm in a last minute desperation before I walk through the turnstiles.

"Wait, girl. Where you goin'?"
"I have to go. I have somewhere to be."
"Aiight, then whats yo address?"
"NO."

Saved by a $2 subway ride.

Maybe a broker will help. Help steal all my money... and possibly give me an apartment.

Something Of No Real Importance

I just watched the season premiere of The Office online in a coffee shop. Thats 42 minutes of staring at a screen and doing nothing in plain sight of many strangers. All whilst I try not to laugh and smile stupidly at Jim and Pam's budding relationship.

Also, yesterday I noticed when in transit on the subway my mind wanders, which is normal-- however the fact that I start to make the expression I am thinking visible on my face makes me look a little crazy... mostly because theres more than a mere smirk or smile involved. There is head tilting, scowling, possibly some mouthing of words-- it gets intricate and weird for any on lookers. I need to stop doing that.

OR not, its New York. Everyone is a little crazy.

P.S. fuck you very much for screwing me.
(come back for the exciting conclusion to this story next time!)